Spam. A Lot.

For years my sister tried to get my octogenarian mother to get on the internet. You need email, she claimed. “Are you going to get rid of the spam for her”, my older sister would ask. “Or help her recover from shock when she opens some of those emails?” I would add. “You know she will not read the subject closely and thing that someone is trying to sell her pens. ‘Why do I want large pens?’ she’ll ask?”

Mom dragged her feet for years. A few years ago, she and her husband set up an account, but afraid of spam, they blocked every email address that isn’t in their contacts. This was a good idea, except for one thing: they didn’t have any contacts.

Now my mother is constantly griping about “The Facebook” and how it is a stupid idea that she doesn’t understand. “I haven’t ever seen it”, she cries, “and I don’t need to! Why do you want all that stuff out there. Seems dangerous! And stupid!”. I received an FB friend request from my aunt the other day. Could it be that Mom may reluctantly join too?

At least with FB, there isn’t much of a chance of pornographic spam directed at seniors. In fact, I’ve noticed that much of what gets trapped in my email filters these days are not trying to sell me things to enlarge appendages that I do not possess. Could it be that the spam pornographers have moved on to something else? I basically don’t get when spammers spam. What on earth do they get in response to those crazy messages?

The ones that I get on this blog are even more perplexing. Today, a comment was trapped that asked if I spent a lot of time thinking about my blog posts before I wrote it. The comment’s author apparently didn’t think a lot about spelling or grammar. How am I sure that it was spam? I followed the link — probably exactly what the spammer wanted. Oh no! Now he knows that he spammed a real person and he probably knows my ISP too! Allegedly, the site was for decorating services. The entries were poorly translated, but there wasn’t much there except for really informative copy that indicated that a kitchen was were you do the cooking. The comments said things like “this is a nice site. I like products. I may have a bed.” There didn’t appear to be anything actually sold on this site, though I suppose that there could have been some sort of virulent computer-born illness downloaded and now infecting my machine.

What? For what purpose? It’s too much to think about why. Instead, just enjoy some spam, or some lobster thermador with delicious stuff & spam. Or just watch Monty Python!

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